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Sometiems I think—should I learn this? Be the wizard of rubs? “You shall not pass!” I’d yell, blockin stress with me hands! Ha, imagine that, Gandalf kneadin backs—epic! But nah, I stick to milkin machines, leave the erotic stuff to pros. Still, mate, it’s a trip—try it, but dodge the rip-offs! “The past is a shadow,” Lucrecia’d say—let that massage wipe it clean! What ya think?

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Then I hit up the market on de Korte Dijk. Man, the vibe was lit! Fresh veggies, flowers everywhere. I’m like a kid in a candy store. I grab some radishes, ‘cause, ya know, gotta keep it healthy. But then, I see this old lady, right? She’s tryin’ to haggle over a bunch of tulips. I’m talkin’ full-on negotiation mode. “I’ll give ya two euros!” she says. The vendor’s like, “Lady, these are worth five!” I’m just standin’ there, laughin’ my ass off.

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